Late November I moved to the Mississippi Delta to help care for my father who was in the late stage of vascular dementia. Dad courageously fought this battle until Sunday February 6. His celebration of Life service was held February 12. And just like that, the journey was completed.
I am still in the Mississippi Delta accompanying my mother who is aging gracefully. Will she move back to Virginia where all three of her children live? Only God knows. Today, we nap, we enjoy the rain fall, we begin to move forward without our patriarch, even though we are not quite sure what that looks like.
My mother is of boomer generation and I am a Gen X. We have total different views on getting thank you cards out. Let me assure you that the cards have been prepared, stamped and mailed. My cards on the other hand are still being delivered to me so that I may address, stamp and send. I need more time to think, reflect and rest. I just march to the beat of my own drum. I do not think that she is wrong and I don’t think that I am wrong. The gift comes in the honoring, compromising and being content. He was my dad but her husband. It was important to her to get them done as soon as possible. It was my duty to honor her and serve her.
The best thing to do when comforting others is to sit in the grief, in the hard stuff with them and live moment by moment. Easier said than done, right? My moment by moment means watching a morning of game shows and judge shows. (pssst …. I hate game shows, judge shows and tv in general 😂) but I love my mother and I’m willing to serve and that may just mean several more months of doing just that because love trumps all and I choose love.